Volkswagen Golf Jokes: Difference between revisions

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[[Template:TemplateMapping#Example3: Multiple of the Same Template]] will teach you how to map a Volkswagen Golf.
[[Template:TemplateMapping#Example3: Multiple of the Same Template]] will teach you how to map a Volkswagen Golf.


Here we teach you some Volkswagen Golf jokes, coming straight from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pernik Pernik]!
Here we teach you some Volkswagen Golf jokes, coming straight from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pernik Pernik]:
* a former mining town close to Sofia,
* a former mining town close to Sofia,
* a stronghold of the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopi Shopi]
* a stronghold of the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopi Shopi] (a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopi#Anecdotes_and_proverbs peculiar sense of humor] runs with them back centuries),
(a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopi#Anecdotes_and_proverbs peculiar sense of humor] runs with them back centuries),
* site of the medieval [https://bg.wikipedia.org/wiki/Кракра_(крепост) Krakra fortress],
* site of the medieval [https://bg.wikipedia.org/wiki/Кракра_(крепост) Krakra fortress],
* world capital of [https://bg.wikipedia.org/wiki/Сурва_(фестивал) Surva] ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kukeri Kukeri]).
* world capital of [https://bg.wikipedia.org/wiki/Сурва_(фестивал) Surva] ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kukeri Kukeri]).
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** No, it's "Vinkelstrasse"!
** No, it's "Vinkelstrasse"!
* What's a nanosecond? Time elapsed from lights turning green to the PK Golf behind you beeping
* What's a nanosecond? Time elapsed from lights turning green to the PK Golf behind you beeping
* What's LEGO? A Golf separated into parts
* What's LEGO? A Golf waiting to be assembled
* What's a Hummer? A bleeping big Golf!
* What's a Hummer? A bleeping big Golf!
* Why Pernik doesn't have any bus lanes? Because they have Golf lanes!
* Why Pernik doesn't have any bus lanes? Because they have Golf lanes!
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* In front of the disco: "Excuse me, is this a private fight, or may I join in?"
* In front of the disco: "Excuse me, is this a private fight, or may I join in?"
* David Copperfield acquired his incredible ability to fly through windows and walls... in a Pernik disco!
* David Copperfield acquired his incredible ability to fly through windows and walls... in a Pernik disco!
* Avatar party???: A fight until you're blue all over
* What's an Avatar party? A fight until you're blue all over
* When they start a fight, the earthquake can be felt even in Sofia
* When they start a fight, the earthquake can be felt even in Sofia
* Cheating Pernik style: when someone else beats your wife
* Cheating Pernik style: when someone '''else''' beats your wife
* The newest AK-47 model: PK-47
* The newest AK-47 model: PK-47


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* Pernik [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baileys_Irish_Cream Baileys]: a big [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakia Rakia] with a small [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boza Boza]
* Pernik [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baileys_Irish_Cream Baileys]: a big [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakia Rakia] with a small [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boza Boza]
* When Pernik men need ice for their Rakia, they call up an ice storm
* When Pernik men need ice for their Rakia, they call up an ice storm
* The first Toblerone was made in Pernik: it was cast out in a *vinkel*
* The first Toblerone was made in Pernik: it was cast out in a '''vinkel'''


http://thisispernik.tumblr.com has some funny pics, just don't believe them all. Two of my favorites:
http://thisispernik.tumblr.com has some funny pics, just don't believe them all. Two of my favorites:
 
* [http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdu52ew8OR1rlarfqo1_r1_500.jpg Pernik USB: 100TB Flash Memory somewhere in Pernik]
Pernik USB: 100TB Flash Memory somewhere in Pernik
* [http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdwa0hQ9PG1rlarfqo1_500.jpg The Pernik-Sofia railroad]
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdu52ew8OR1rlarfqo1_r1_500.jpg
 
The Pernik-Sofia railroad:
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdwa0hQ9PG1rlarfqo1_500.jpg

Latest revision as of 03:21, 25 February 2015

Template:TemplateMapping#Example3: Multiple of the Same Template will teach you how to map a Volkswagen Golf.

Here we teach you some Volkswagen Golf jokes, coming straight from Pernik:

A working town. A badass town. A town where ferocious men live, always ready to pick a fight, wearing miners' hats with flashlights, wielding vinkels (steel L-beams), driving Volkswagen Golf Mk2, the plate numbers always starting with 'PK'. That's if your believe all the jokes about Pernik.

And jokes there are aplenty:

  • What do they call the new Liulin autobahn from Pernik to Sofia? "Golf Street"
    • No, it's "Vinkelstrasse"!
  • What's a nanosecond? Time elapsed from lights turning green to the PK Golf behind you beeping
  • What's LEGO? A Golf waiting to be assembled
  • What's a Hummer? A bleeping big Golf!
  • Why Pernik doesn't have any bus lanes? Because they have Golf lanes!
  • Volkswagen announced that their main plant will be moved from Wolfsburg to Pernik

A few violent jokes (I hope they make you laugh violently):

  • A mother asks his son coming back from the discoteque "Is everything alright"?
    • "Sure, I was gonna change my phone anyway, and those two teeth I din't use much"
  • Why do young people do star-gazing after leaving the disco? It stops the nose bleeding
  • How'd they call the Pernik central square after the 2012 earthquake? "Epicenter"
  • And the central discoteque? Why, "Magnitude"
  • In front of the disco: "Excuse me, is this a private fight, or may I join in?"
  • David Copperfield acquired his incredible ability to fly through windows and walls... in a Pernik disco!
  • What's an Avatar party? A fight until you're blue all over
  • When they start a fight, the earthquake can be felt even in Sofia
  • Cheating Pernik style: when someone else beats your wife
  • The newest AK-47 model: PK-47

Some Pernik recipes:

  • Pernik Baileys: a big Rakia with a small Boza
  • When Pernik men need ice for their Rakia, they call up an ice storm
  • The first Toblerone was made in Pernik: it was cast out in a vinkel

http://thisispernik.tumblr.com has some funny pics, just don't believe them all. Two of my favorites: